Characteristics
People with dismissive avoidant attachment are highly self-sufficient and are not used to being dependent on others, or others being dependent on them.
They are very independent, have a strong sense of personal space and boundaries, they pursuit of freedom.
They have a tendency to avoid displays of emotion and feel uncomfortable expressing their truest feelings.
They tend to be perfectionist towards themselves, hide their true selves, often fail to face themselves, and may be narcissistic.
They have a skeptical negative attitude toward long-term stable relationships.
These characteristics are often due to a strong sense of self-protection, they disguise themselves and create a safe zone for themselves from possible harm.
The pain of dismissive avoidant attachment
The pain of the false self
As an infant, his needs are often ignored or rejected, and the baby hides his true self and develops the false self.
The false ego conforms to the emotional needs of the mother and coordinates with the mother to change itself, so as to better adapt to the world. However, it hinders the development of infants' true self sense, which is an important reason for the early formation of avoidant attachment personality.
His pain is that the self-defence mechanism is so thick that the real self cannot break through the false self to reveal its inner needs.
The false self can be regarded as the protective shell of dismissive avoidant attachment, and it can only be liked when it is false. But when he is enveloped in his false self, no one sees his pain.
The pain of self-denial
They feel they are not living well enough, and the root cause is that they do not deserve good things, because the life experience of the false self is that to be loved requires the exchange of equivalent things.
The same is true of dependence and dependence.
The pain of loneliness
The main reason for avoiding loneliness is the inability to form real emotional connections with others. It's hard for him to step out of his world, and he feels that his true self may not be accepted. Being in this state of rejection for a long time can lead to emotional disorders such as depression, fear, shyness, timidity, and anger, all of which afflict avoidant attachment.
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